Saturday afternoon, after Reece’s eggs took the edge off a slow morning-after and post museum trip, we went to the Abbey Burger Bistro in Federal Hill.  Abbey patrons can build their own burgers around meats such as alligator, kangaroo, and elk.  I don’t eat that shit.

I didn't eat this. But this kinda captures a lot of what they do. And we were too excited to remember to take our own pictures.

I do, however, eat fried green tomatoes, which the Abbey has turned into a burger, and it will knock you out.  I mean, Knock.  You.  Out.

The batter on the tomato wasn’t too thick, wasn’t too thin (“Juuuust right,” said Goldilocks), and was fried to a golden crisp with the tomato hot and juicy inside.  I topped it with cucumbers, herbed yogurt, and probably a quarter-cup of goat cheese and ordered it on a whole wheat bun.

It was amazing.

I mean shockingly good.

I know this is a bit anathema to say of a place that serves elk on a bun, but this place makes the best fake “burgers” I’ve ever had.  On previous visits I’ve tried the shroom and homemade veggie burgers, and they’re fantastic as well.

Part of the success is based on the mix-&-match component of the build-your-own arrangement, but the greater part of the success stems from the superiority of those build-your-own ingredients and the expertise with which the tomato is cooked.  That’s not to say that this is healthy food, per se.  The burgers come with homemade chips that will fulfill your fat intake for the weekend, and for $2 more Rae subbed about a pound of delicious sweet potato fries for those chips.  And the sheer number of  possible ingredients (meat & “meat” – 13, bread – 7, cheese – 13, toppings – 37) can be overwhelming.   But goddamn if this wasn’t the best lunch I’d had in recent memory. Continue reading →