Category Archives: Beer

Beer-Making Take II, Featuring Brita and The Bavarians

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My baby is already two weeks old!

I was told beer-making was easy, and based on the Spaghetti-Os-heavy diet of the dudes who told me this, I believed it. After all, your basic beer has (or should have) only four ingredients: water, grain, hops, and yeast. This has been the basic recipe for hundreds of years. Despite our mutual distaste for following the rules, Ben and I embarked on another brewing adventure with this in mind, even as our first attempt still sat in the basement, sulkily maturing into an adolescent IPA. (They grow up so fast!)

First, of course: water. After having soundly lost the Brita vs. Tap Water battle last time, I fished the pitcher from the fridge and began the grueling process of filtering water and pouring it into the kettle. Now, I am not known for my patience…but this takes FOREVER. I’ve got to say, there really is something to be said for boiling water, like, that it sterilizes things. I’ve heard that way back in the day, before germs and public sanitation were discovered, everyone drank beer because it was safer than the water. Everyone! Or so I’ve heard — this would take far too long to actually research.

Barley: not just for horses

Next comes the grain, in our case barley. Barley is the grain of choice for most beers, rye and wheat beer being obvious exceptions. This wasn’t always the case. Before the Bavarian Purity Law of 1516, or the Reinheitsgebot (geshundheit!), laid down the literal law about what could go in beer, it was anything goes. Afterwards, only water, barley, and hops were allowed in beer. (Wild yeast fermented the concoctions, but those little guys weren’t given any credit till discovered in the 1850s.) It was less purity of the drink they were actually concerned about and more the price of bread; that is, ensuring a sizable-enough quantity of wheat and rye that they could be bought cheaply and made into affordable bread …that is, for relatively little dough (eesh, sorry). Continue reading →

Making Your Own Beer, Step 1: Have a Beer

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The gloves are on: no more messin' around

By far the most time consuming step of last Tuesday’s brewing process was the argument that took place before even pouring water into the pot. Nothing serious. Just a tap water vs. Brita-filtered water disagreement; a this-is-going-to-take-forever vs. it-will-taste-like-ass-otherwise spat; a so-you’re-too-good-for-city-water-now? vs. and-here-I-thought-you-were-a-real-brewer quarrel. Turns out it takes just as long for Ben and I to reach a draw as it does to pull five gallons of water through a filtered pitcher made for drinking water. Whatever.

Ben -- I call him The Sanitizer

The first, most important ingredients for any decent batch of home brew are the beer you will be drinking and the music you will be playing while cooking it up. We chose a classic craft beer: Dogfish Head 60 Minutes, and one of my favorite snowy-afternoon albums: Modest Mouse’s The Moon and Antarctica. During the approximately seven hours it took to watch five gallons fall drip by drip into the pitcher, we used a one-step sanitizer to clean everything that would come in contact with our future brew, including both of us up to the elbows and a good deal of my sweatshirt. By then it was time for another beer and The Kills’ Blood Pressures.

Stew of dirty socks and thermometer

The first step in which something actually happens is when you heat the water to between 150 and 160 degrees and steep the grains. The difficult part of this is, of course, taking the temperature of the water. In our case, brewing is less of a science and more an engineering project. To save us from burning our hands, Ben rigged our thermometer on wire that he wound around both pot handles so it dangled in the middle of the hot water. Clever boy, this one. The barley grains are knotted into a bag made of cheese cloth-like material that is, when floating in an increasingly dark kettle of liquid, reminiscent of a soaking pair of dirty, balled-up socks.  Continue reading →

The Black & Tans and What to Drink This Bloody Sunday

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1920 Cork after the Black and Tans set it on fire; next from Yuengling, Gestapo Stout

St. Patrick’s Day is nigh. That green-hazed day on which we celebrate the historic moment when pilgrims sat down with leprechauns over soda bread and green beer. The Irish sprites taught the pilgrims to lust for gold and the pilgrims introduced the leprechauns to the ancient white man tradition of back-stabbing, later forcing them down the Rainbow of Tears.

Oh my. We all know that in truth we are actually celebrating the day Bono chased all the snakes out of Ireland! Eternally grateful, people around the world celebrate the day by getting drunk, kissing Irish wannabes, and wearing the traditional Irish shiny-shamrock-head-bobber-thingies.

And here is where I must be honest: though I am authentically Irish, though I wear a claddagh ring, have smiling Irish eyes, and really love me some potatoes, I do not actually enjoy the Irish beer available in the US.

BUT WHAT ABOUT GUINNESS?!?! they shout in disbelief. Okay, yeah; it’s a good beer and you look more suave drinking that than some piss-colored swill with the calorie count on the label. For me though, it was a gateway beer, a beer that bolstered my courage and allowed me to take the next step toward more flavorful, imaginative craft beers. Also, during lean times it was cheaper and more filling than a sandwich at lunch. Continue reading →