It saddens me to think that fruitcake has fallen from such great heights. In medieval Europe, it was the epitome of luxury, chock full of the spices and nuts and dried fruit that could only be imported, for a hefty price, from the mystical Far East. A perfect birthday cake for Jesus, I guess. But in more recent days, it has become less a Christmas treat than a punch line. Here is a famous fruitcake joke: “The worst Christmas gift is fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other, year after year.” Johnny Carson said that on The Tonight Show, and it’s been downhill for fruitcake ever since.

I will admit that fruitcake, the actual foodstuff, has never made much of an impression on me. I don’t make fruitcake as a Christmas tradition and the few times I’ve eaten it during the holiday season have been less than memorable. But fruitcake as an idea…well, that’s a completely different story.

There are two beloved, imagined fruitcakes in my life. One is from the Truman Capote short story, “A Christmas Memory.” I force Jason to listen to me read this at least once every Christmas season, and out of kindness, he pretends that I’m going to make it to the end each time without crying. (I really am very good at doing the voice of Mr. Haha Jones, by the way). If you haven’t read the story, you should stop reading this right now and follow the link above and read the story already.

Less of a heartbreaker but no less dear to me is a memory that comes from Christmases more distantly past. In elementary school, the high school show choir, which was called (I am not making this up) “Fire and Ice,” would come once each year and perform, allowing us to weasel out of doing schoolwork for an hour or two. As if that wasn’t awesome enough, they would always end the program with a showstopper called Fruitcake. It’s hard to express how much this song wowed me. Unfortunately, I could not find any video of Lexington High School students performing this number, but I did find this, which I think captures both the verve and questionable dance abilities of Fire and Ice as I remember it.

Sheesh, that is still so fantastic. I could watch it again and again. Instead, I’m going to run some errands at Chelsea Market. I might find some fruitcake to buy, and you know what? It doesn’t even matter how it tastes. Fruitcake is alright by me.