It’s a little embarrassing that I’ve developed a hardcore crush on Ample Hills Creamery just as they are taking on a celebrity shine following the release of their eponymous cookbook. I would like everyone to know that I have totally liked this Brooklyn ice cream shop and their Salted Crack Caramel flavor for years at this point, the same way I liked Leonardo DiCaprio starting with his What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? days, way before everyone jumped on the Titanic bandwagon.

But there’s no denying that I have experienced a fresh rush of Ample Hills love ever since I went to an event last week at Powerhouse Books to celebrate the release of the book, and now, as happens with every good crush, I see them everywhere and find myself thinking of the texture of the St. Louis butter cake in the Ooey-Gooey flavor while at work, doodling pictures of ice cream cones in the margins of my notebooks, eavesdropping on other people’s conversations about my beloved in bars, etc. If you’ve never had it, you just have to trust me that this is sublime ice cream.

It is only fair to note that not everyone shares my unconditional excitement. Some people say it’s too sweet, some people say it’s too expensive, some people say that it rests on the laurels of a few stand-out flavors while everything else is sub-par. I understand that there might be a tiny kernel of truth at the center of each of those complaints. But this is a crush we’re talking about. So I think those people are stupid.

My concern at the moment is that this crush is almost certainly unrequited. At the Powerhouse event, the authors of the cookbook (co-owners Brian Smith and Jackie Cuscuna with marketing director Lauren Kaelin) asked the crowd to submit ice cream flavors inspired by books. Be still, my heart. If ever there were a contest made for me, it was this one, but I panicked and spent most of the allotted time wondering if maybe I could base an ice cream flavor on Slouching toward Bethlehem. I finally decided on a cherry cordial ice cream with bits of honeycomb, inspired by the feasts in Redwall, but as soon as I submitted it, I fell into a funk, certain that I would lose to Jason’s Blood Meridian blood-orange-and-dulce-du-leche-cake number.

I have been checking their Facebook page anxiously ever since to see who won, but they haven’t announced a winner as they said they would. Is it worse if your crush ignores you for the head cheerleader or if he ignores you even though he isn’t dating anyone at all? I’m not sure.

So maybe this love affair will never get off the ground, but you’ll find me nursing my broken heart with a double scoop of Peanut-Butter Munchies. If you’re in Brooklyn, you’d be stupid not to stop in to one of their two locations on the next sunny day, and if you’re not, check out the cookbook and whip up some Salted Crack Caramel of your very own.