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I read in the news this morning that Anheuser-Busch InBev is making moves to buy SABMiller. I don’t know much about mergers or acquisitions or really anything relating to money, but I do remember something in Coach Kaple’s 11th grade economics class about monopolies and trusts and how they’re bad. I also recognize that the joining of these two enormous beer-making entities does not technically form either of these, but it does severely limit the diversity of the field. If I understand it right, that diversity is kind of what makes capitalism capitalism. That said, here are the reasons I personally will not drink an AB InBev or SABMiller beer.
Big Beer and craft beer have drastically different motivations behind brewing. AB InBev, like any business whose profit last year broke 11 billion, is motivated by one thing: greed. I read as much of a Bloomberg Business News article on the possible acquisition as I could without spitting my beer on the screen and drop-kicking my laptop. The article also notes that the dudes in charge of the money handling for Big Beer claim that by purchasing up smaller craft breweries, they are able to get craft beer out to more people. Oh now I see, it’s really a charitable thing. And probably tax deductible.
Craft beer brewers, on the other hand, are in it for, well — craft. This word implies care, quality, and men with long beards and tall boots. It also implies innovation, experimentation, and a passion for the art. The men and women of craft beer are not in it for the money. It’s the art at the heart of it all. The essence of Dogfish Head could never survive if purchased by any of the big guys. Can you imagine any brewery associated with Miller concocting a brew that involved the brewers’ own saliva? No, no they would not, though I’d love to see the board meeting in which this idea is introduced. The spirit is what makes it craft — and is why craft beer drinkers stay with the small breweries.
From St. Louis Post-Dispatch 2013
There is no way I would be able to distinguish Bud from Miller from Coors from Busch. Nor do I ever lose my faculties enough to be tricked into such a cruel contest. It’s not just because I don’t drink them, but because they are indistinguishable for everyone. The Big Beer companies are known for their enforced blandness and conformity. Craft beer companies are known for their neverending quest for the next best thing. Craft pushes the limits, Big Beer sets them. What Bloomberg News calls “investing” in craft breweries, is really turning them into clones of some middle-of-the-road, overpriced skunk juice with nifty label art.
Another reason some people avoid Big Beer is the same reason people like me refuse to go to Wal-Mart: giant corporations kill the little guy, at the same time they’re killing diversity and healthy competition. In the spirit of the oh-my-god-the-world-really-could-end-and-we-wouldn’t-have-Netflix attitude of many young people, we are learning how to do things ourselves and have a new appreciation for items that are artisanal, homemade, and did-it-my-own-damn-self made.
I drink and will continue to drink beer from craft breweries as they are defined by The Brewer’s Association: small, independent, and traditional (no malt bevs, please). Shock Top, Blue Moon, Goose Island, Leinenkugel, Dieselpunk, and all the rest of you: we’re done! To the craft breweries out there: can someone get me a beer? Being so self-righteous really works up a thirst.