That about sums it up.

As a pair, beer and I have been going strong for many years now. Few couples have experienced the same level of success we have. Over all it’s been a smooth ride, with only the occasional hiccup. But beer is not my first love! World, there’s someone else I want you to meet: cheese.

Cheese and I have been through a lot together: the Amish string cheese of my childhood, the Behold the Power of Cheese campaign in the late ‘90s, Papa John’s cheese sticks and the Freshman 15 in college, those little cheesy crackers with pecans my mom makes every Christmas that are as addictive, if not more so, than your standard crack.

For the longest time, though, I thought beer and cheese were incompatible, like those two friends you have that each think slightly less of you for liking the other one. I have never grown used to that sort of cattiness, having had the same loyal and honest friends since before I knew what beer was. So it was always with a little dismay that I kept the Jarlsberg tight in the meat and dairy drawer when I pulled an IPA out of the fridge. The manchego, too, waited for me to buy a cheap bottle of syrah. Why couldn’t we just all be friends?

Eventually I caved under the pressure of struggling to keep them apart. Dammit, you’re both such wonderful calorie delivery methods: just get to know each other! And lo, they got along swimmingly and the three of us have kicked some culinary ass ever since.

I endeavor to win this award some day. Or steal Richard’s.

I used to just pair wine and cheese indiscriminately: I’d choose an inexpensive wine based on how clever the name and label were (I am a Consumer!) and then use a haphazard equation to pick the cheese involving such variables as the smell, price, how easily my thumb left a dent in it, and how guilty I’d feel if I ate the whole thing in one go. I found that such nonchalant criterion did not hold with beer…perhaps saying more about the quality of the wine I drink than the relationship of dairy and beer.

I recently discovered a super helpful beer-cheese guide put together in part by the brewmaster at The Brooklyn Brewery. I figure if the man is that good at making beer, I ought to give his opinions on cheese a listen. Below are his suggestions, upon which you can begin your journey into happy cheesy beery time!

Sharp Cheddar with Pale Ale
Feta with Wheat Beer
Mascarpone with Fruit Beer
American Cheese with Pilsner
Colby with Brown Ale
Gorgonzola with Barleywine
Gruyére with Bock Beer
Swiss Cheese with Octoberfest Beer
Parmesan with Amber Lager

Be sure to check out Beer Advocate’s helpful guide as well, though I highly recommend the trial and error method of matching beers and cheese for reasons that should be obvious. The Huff Post did a nice infographic on it, as well.

The biggest obstacle to overcome in pairing beer with cheese is the overarching societal perceptions of beer and wine. Beer = peanuts, wine = cheese; beer = football game, wine = opera; beer = dudes, wine = all the ladies. How many times have you seen this in a commercial before: dude sulks at dinner party while wife enjoys wine; lady crabs at baseball game while dude throws back beers. It doesn’t have to be that way! Beer can go with cheese as easily as it can be a lady’s favorite beverage. But girls, do be careful to not eat too much cheese; the results can be unladylike.