“It’s true that I wasn’t paying attention to the recipe,” subject admits. “My plan was to just mix everything together.”

4:58 p.m. Subject announces desire to “whip up” some banana bread. Makes telephone call to sister-in-law, the source of excellent banana bread recipe, to discuss some possible alterations. Subject is heard to become very distracted, however, and start talking about horses instead.

6:10 p.m. Observer enters kitchen to see if it will soon be clear for dinner preparation. Banana bread still in early stages.
“Do we have a sifter?” subject asks, eyeing the brown sugar.
“I think you’re supposed to pack brown sugar,” observer offers.
“Ah, right,” subjects says, and then adds sugar to dry ingredients.
“Doesn’t sugar usually go with the wet ingredients?” observer asks innocently.
Subject becomes bashful and starts to pick out chunks of brown sugar with a fork. Mentions that maybe it won’t matter since he is substituting Greek yogurt for butter. Observer begins to have serious doubts about edibility of final product.

6:47 p.m. Subject becomes very dejected about de-sugaring process. Decides to wait until after observer has cooked dinner to finish banana bread endeavor. Subject then remembers the foraged black walnuts that have been in the refrigerator for months due to both the subject and the observer being too lazy to hull them. Subject retires to front stoop to smash them with rocks.

8:30 p.m. Observer tries to assess subject’s confidence level. Subject responds: “You know, I’m feeling more confident than ever. I feel like you are losing confidence, but mine is only growing. It may have been a rough start in some ways to some people, but I’m not worried.”

9:10 p.m. Bolstered by wine, pasta and walnut smashing, subject decides to finish banana bread. Does not appreciate observer’s helpful hints about proper way to whisk. Nevertheless, things appear to proceed smoothly until subject is heard to groan loudly while observer has turned her back to do the dishes.
“What?” observer asks.
“Erm. There was a…vanilla problem,” subject responds. Note for clarity: problem may be in subject’s measuring acuity rather than in vanilla extract itself.
Subject decides to add some chocolate chips for luck.

10:55 p.m. Subject removes banana bread from oven. Bread actually does not look too bad. Subsequent taste tests confirm very dense but highly flavorful bread.

Possible conclusions: Recipe is very forgiving, or subject is a banana bread savant of sorts. Further observations necessary to determine whether one or both of these conclusions is accurate.

It is not really possible for you to replicate Jason’s recipe even if you wanted to, but the original recipe, from our sister-in-law Emily, is outstanding, so I will provide it for use in your own kitchen experiments.

Emily’s Vegan Banana Bread

• ½ cup brown sugar
• ½ cup white sugar
• ½ cup margarine, at room temperature
• 3 very ripe bananas
• 2 cups flour
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• ¼ cup vanilla soy milk, mixed with 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• ¼ teaspoon allspice
• ½ teaspoon salt
• ¾ cup walnuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray an 8 x 4 with non-stick cooking spray. Sift together flour, baking soda, salt and spices.
Cream together the margarine and sugars. Add bananas, soy milk and vanilla. Fold in ½ cup of walnuts.
Add the wet ingredients to the dry. Mix well. Pour batter into pan. Sprinkle the remaining ¼ cup walnuts on top, pressing them down into the batter.
Bake for 60-70 minutes.