I have neither the skill set nor the personality to be a good bartender or business owner, but I think if I ever received a windfall of money it would be hard to not capitalize on an idea for a bar that my friend Mignon and I developed many years ago. It would be called Holiday, and it would operate under the premise that “every day’s a holiday.” There would be a drink special of the day that would pay homage to whatever bizarre and little-known holiday happened to fall on that date.

It’s best to eat a few in advance to really get in the spirit of things.

You might think it preposterous that we could find a holiday for every day of the year, but the real problem would be choosing between all of the possible options for any given day. As I type this, it is, according to various sites, Fun at Work Day, National Kazoo Day and Thank a Plugin Developer Day. It would be a stretch, I think, to create a plugin-themed drink. But come on—a kazoo-themed one is just too easy.

One thing that quickly becomes apparent if you scan one of these lists of holidays is that a disproportionate number of them have to do with food. This month alone is Hot Tea Month, National Oatmeal Month, National Soup Month, Artichoke and Asparagus Month and California Dried Plum Digestive Month (among others). Unfortunately, you missed Chocolate Cake Day by a hair (January 27th), but there’s still time to prepare for National Corn Chip Day (January 29th).

I’m not sure what sort of fervor or lunacy possesses someone to create one of these holidays. How much do you have to love cherry pie to try to give it its own day (February 20^th)? Is there some sort of association of cherry pie sellers that lobbies for such a thing? And if not, if this is instead a passion project on the part of individuals, doesn’t it seem harder to rally the masses around the idea of National Pistachio Day (February 26^th) than to just, say, eat some pistachios? I’d like to meet some of the people behind these holidays, but something tells me that they won’t be easy to track down. Though there are always “origins” sections on the site I linked to above, most of them say something like, “Unfortunately, we couldn’t find the creator of National Chocolate Mint Day.” If anyone has a lead on locating the creator of National Chocolate Mint Day, it should go without saying that you should contact me as soon as possible.

So maybe I won’t be going to the trouble of creating a food holiday, but I still think there’s something sweet and daffy about celebrating them. In other words, don’t be surprised if tomorrow finds me pouring a michelada and sitting down to nice big bowl of corn chips. But if life gets in the way of your celebrations, don’t fret too much; National Tortilla Day is right around the corner.