Post-St. Patrick’s Day Stewed Leprechaun

leprechuanEveryone indulges their mischievous and somewhat bawdy antics on St. Patrick’s Day, of course, but what is one to do with the surplus of leprechauns running around the house after the holiday? We have more than most—though I’m only about a third Irish on a good day, I have a name that makes me sounds as if I’m straight off the boat from County Cork, and the little devils just come flocking. To call them a nuisance would be an understatement: they harass the cats, they poop in the shower, they drink all the Scotch in the house out of spite. I think it will be a solid month before I can get the smell of pipe smoke out of the couch, and the red hair I keep finding on my pillow…let’s just say I’m not certain it’s from their heads.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s not that I find leprechaun slaughter an enjoyable task. (In fact, I prefer the term “leprechaun harvest” whenever possible.) But it’s important to remember that they’ve lived a good life, free to roam and tell dirty jokes wherever they like. And a little ether on a rag and then a quick whap against the edge of the sink is a process I find most humane.

Anyway, they make a first-rate soup. So come in out of the harsh March winds, sit down to a steaming bowlful and thank your lucky stars that St. Patty’s Day comes but once a year. For the recipe of what’s in the bowl, keep reading:

Vegan Split Pea Soup

  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 1 white onion, chopped
  • 6 cloves garlic, sliced
  • 1 lb. dry green split peas
  • 5 cups vegetable broth
  • 4 small red potatoes, diced
  • 1 cup carrots, diced
  • 1 package silken tofu
  • 6 oz. spinach
  • 1 tablespoon dried basil
  • 1 tablespoon bacon salt**
  • Salt and freshly ground black pepper

In a large soup pot, sauté the onion and garlic in the olive oil until tender. Pour in the vegetable broth and rinsed peas. Add the potatoes and carrots. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low, and simmer 1 hour.

In a blender, blend the tofu and spinach until creamy, and mix into the pot. Add basil and other seasoning. Continue cooking 1 hour. Serve hot and enjoy.

*Except for some minor changes, I owe this recipe to one from AllRecipes.com.

**I could write an entire post on bacon salt and someday I might, but for now, let it suffice to say that there is no actual bacon involved.